There’s a word I’ve been playing around with recently. It describes the fierce inner compulsion to continue to work even when the workday is done. Worksick.

When you work so much, you literally make yourself sick.

And oh, what a sickness it is—because it can be so entirely consuming, like an insidious virus taking over your body and mind before you know what hit ya.

It’s a full-on state of being that reminds me of the cordyceps fungus in the TV show The Last of Us, also known by its charming real-life nickname, the “zombie-ant fungus,” because it infects the most industrious of insects: the ant.

Worksick often starts out with the best intentions. I can get SO much done today! We gleefully think. Yes, I’ve had to pee for the last hour, but if I can just get this one last email/client/phone call taken care of….

We skip lunch. We skip breaks. We skip fun. When the workday is done, we switch to other work. If I can just make a dent in my to-do list, we think, then add seven more tasks after each one we cross off.

We often don’t even realize we’re in the clutches of worksick until our bodies are past their limits, our patience is past its breaking point, and we’re totally, utterly, fried.

Can I get an ugh?

The most dangerous thing about worksick is that it’s so slippery to fall into—because not only is it supported by much of our culture and society, it’s rewarded and respected.

*Be a productive member of society!*
*Get more done in less time!*
*Optimize! Optimize! Optimize!*
*Impress your family and friends!*
*Whatever you do, don’t waste your time life!*

These are the siren songs of worksick. And they're incredibly seductive.

Have you ever wondered, when does it end?

Does it ever stop?

And who am I when all I do is do, do, do?

Because here’s what those siren songs push to the side:

• Rest
• Presence
• Joy
• Health
• Spaciousness
• The value of being
• Unhurried connection with others
• Who we are when we’re not doing anything

 
Do you value these things?

If yes, do you prioritize them?

Listen. I am not coming from the Floofy-Doofy Society of Privileged & Unaware Lady Coaches to tell you that your socioeconomic status and intersection of identities don’t impact your ability to embody the list of goodies above. Because they absolutely do.

I am not telling you to simply think differently and eat cake all day and dance around in your silk pajamas, because that is not the reality of work and life for most of us, myself included.

What I am asking you to consider is: within the choices you currently have in front of you, is it possible that you can find more presence and ease within your current responsibilities and limits?

Might you be able to feel more fully grounded in your body and mind, and spend more of your time as your favorite version of you?

Because the truth is, no, it doesn't stop. There will always be more to do. You stop it. Or at least, slow it down.

I’ve spent decades cultivating balance between my ambitious doing side, and my inner-peace-oriented being side, and I still sometimes struggle with knowing when enough work is enough. Whether I’m working for The Man or myself; whether I’m doing work I despise or love; sometimes, I still don’t know when to stop until it’s too late and I’ve sailed right past my breaking point, and then some.

There are still days and weeks when I overwork and fry myself and lose out on connection and important events with my loved ones.

Is my proclivity to make myself worksick less than what it used to be? Absolutely.

Am I better at identifying when I’m going into worksick mode? You bet.

But some days are still a struggle and I end up laying on my living room floor in a heap doing nothing except dictating emails to my phone like this one that you’re reading right now.

So I guess what I’m saying is, if you struggle with worksick, if you know this territory well, you’re not alone.

Truly, you're not ♡

And that little voice you might be hearing inside you is right. It doesn't always have to be this way.

So I hope that, for a glittering moment, you give yourself the gift of rest and simple pleasures today, for as long as you can stand it. Without having to prove your worth by how much you do.

Because do you exist to work?

No.

You exist to be you. In all your glorious humanity. Exactly as you are.

Wishing you glorious moments full of rest and glee and little else,

Caitlin "Recovering Ant Zombie" Clarke

P.S. If you recognize yourself in this post and are curious about what support can look like to help you get out of this way of living, click the button below to apply for a free discovery session. We'll take a look at your goals and I'll give you my best recommendations on what to do next, whether that's working with me or not. Either way, it's an awesome opportunity to get clear on next steps and transform your vision for your life.